Torn.

There isn’t another word for what’s going on mentally right now in this head of mine. It’s amazing what we can fill our brains with on a day to day basis. A perfect storm of focus, distraction, fear, routine, love, the list goes on and on. How do we manage to interpret these daily thoughts and intertwine them with feelings, and continue socially interacting?

This week, I’ve been hit with a hard dose of reality. That I am extremely privileged. I joke that I’m #blessed, but the fact of the matter is, I’m better off than most of this world simply because I lucked out. I did nothing to deserve the family I was born into, and hardly even interviewed for the job I was graciously given after college (thanks, Craigslist). I was able to attend college out of state and develop as my own person, because, well, I was handed a scholarship for a sport my parents supported throughout childhood. I studied hard and don’t remember much of the details I stressed over, but I know I was fortunate enough to only have to strain my brain over biology. Not the reality that remained outside my little world.

But this isn’t about me or my luck. This is about what’s going on outside all of our personal bubbles.

What I want to know is, how do I, the lucky, the privileged, react? I’m not even discussing money or race, but do we need to? There is so much pain and hurt and outcry right now in our country’s borders as well as outside of it. I’m genuinely wanting to be at peace within this society without guilt or feeling like there are two sides. These heated topics seem to have sides that are polarizing at a rapid rate and it’s nothing short of destructive. As these parties move apart, what is left for the people who cannot side with the logic on either side?

What I’m proposing is a gray area. There is no reason to NOT long for understanding or feel towards a matter, simply because it doesn’t affect you. We all have “soft spots”, or triggers, or some other psychological terms that I’m uneducated on, that make us empathize immediately and thus lead to opinions formed. Isn’t it weird how when we care THAT deeply, we only want recruits for whatever the cause? Instead of embracing the differing opinions, we argue to the death, only to be left hurt and even more confused on “their side”. I witness this on social media everyday.  Whether it’s Tom Brady or gay marriage, when are we going to be able to find solace in recognizing that our point of view is just that. Ours. It’s able to be expanded with empathy, compassion, and a viewpoint of love towards every single human. Not with the intent to “fix” them, because they supposedly “think” the wrong way, but with a goal of understanding another POV that is cohabiting this planet alongside you.

While I realize this word-vomit does nothing to better our country, my heart longs for people who will keep me in check. Please continue to keep my little bubble humble, aware, and striving for better.

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About hannahkaykeon

Finally my favorite number in age so why not start a blog? Colorado girl who is passionate about people and the beauty this world has to offer. Especially if it involves sugar. Frequent over-thinker and known for asking too many questions. Ya dig?
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